Monday, January 9, 2012

Bitter Sweet

Midol works wonders, and coffee is my best friend. First of all I woke up at 5 am, laid in bed until it was time to eat my pre-workout and start running.

During my run my mind was in a million places. I worried about cramping and not being able to finish my run. I sang along to my music. I thought about my knees/ankles and heals and prayed they would with stand my addiction to running.

The next thing that popped into my head was Jenna Miller. I met Jenna in 2010 at The Frew she was the first person I could relate to 100% and talked to me immediately after my first group session. She made things a lot less scary.

Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of her death. She should be 29 years old but she had a heart attack and passed. I didn't want to think about it yesterday but today it hit me like a bus. She shouldn't have died it was her eating disorder took her life. It devastates me that that happened to her.

We lost touch mainly because she lived in another state, I should have called, emailed, something but I never got around to it. I talked to Jenna on my run today. I told her she was strong and beautiful and asked for her forgiveness, I meant to keep in touch and I didn't. I told her about my life, blog and everything in between. I will never forget Jenna, she was full of joy and loved by everyone.

Rest in Peace Jenna 
I picture Jenna just as she was in this picture, smiling, happy and full of life. She is one of the reasons why I am so dedicated to staying in recovery.

I completed my 8.6 mile run feeling overwhelmed but accomplished. My mind ventured from Jenna to my own life since 2010 and how much I have grown as a person.

Today is the first Monday of winter semester, my classes run from 2-6 so I have plenty of time to ice, shower and relax until this afternoon.

What do you think about while running?