Thursday, January 19, 2012

Here's the deal

It has become somewhat a routine for me to blog in the library, on a computer surrounded by other students. All of which are checking facebook, playing computer games and studying on the web.

 Why do I choose to blog here? Well my bag is loaded with notebooks, textbooks and my lunch, there is no way I would want to bring my laptop too. This is NOT the way I'd like it to be, I've been feeling anxious and self conscious as I type, thinking everyone is reading my words. I know, paranoid much? self centered?No not really.

I enjoy blogging but I blog for my own pleasure, I don't publicise my blog to friends and family or have a matching twitter/facebook page. I'm just a regular girl writing whatever she wants.I like that this is my own space to document my life. Blogging here (in the library) is so open and exposed it makes me a little anxious.

I get these thoughts all the time but quickly change my mind. I look around and NOBODY is even looking my way. I am just another student on the campus computers. I am looking at others more than they are looking at me. So now I will get to the point of my post.

Yesterday I received an email from Miami ING, they sent me my corral letter and other information. I mainly focused on the big letter G assigned to me. Months ago when I signed up, I did it with my friend Sarah and her mom who I've known my entire life. I was so excited to do this with them, we even ran together on some of our long runs. I immediately texted her to find out where they were placed.

"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'"       
                                                    - Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and Sub-2:12 marathoner

 Both Sarah and her mom are in corral E! Just my luck, I will have to be running this thing all on my own. Talk about disappointing. I wanted to cry, not only were we in separate corrals they were ahead of me! When it comes to running I can get pretty competitive and I hate the fact that I will most likely finish after them. I am okay with running alone since I normally do that anyways, but knowing I'm 2 corrals behind has been really effecting my mental state about this race. I have to get over this feeling, it just put a big damper on my night.

Runners, has this ever happened to you?